Educational System, Teaching

From her cold dead fingers . . .

I believe I have mentioned the fact that I am not a fan of my textbooks. Besides the fact that they are about 3 levels too difficult for my students, they are also totally random, poorly designed, full of typos, and English only. Both my English teacher and I usually have to read the instructions to any given exercise several times to try to make sense of what the kids are supposed to do. Below is a case in point.

But the reason I felt that I must share the following exercises is the strange and macabre twist that suddenly develops amidst otherwise normal statements. I burst out laughing in class and had no one else to share my mirth with.

I. Change and copy

Example: It isn’t necessary to go there
Write: You don’t have to go there

Example: Don’t go!
Write: You musn’t go.

1. Don’t answer that question
2. It isn’t necessary to buy bread.

6. Don’t try to take the robe from the woman’s hands; bury her together with it
7. It isn’t necessary to move the woman; you can bury here here.

Great, eh? And . . .

II. Ask Yes/No questions and answer them

Example: I must go. Must you go? I have to write a letter. Do you have to write a letter?

1. I’m busy. I must buy some medicine for my mother

4. I have to get up early tomorrow

7. We must take the robe from her hands somehow.

Must we take the robe from her hands somehow?

Yes, indeed, childen. We must pry that robe from her cold dead fingers.

Perhaps I shouldn’t mock my textbooks. It could be a great conversation starter on burial customs . . .

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4 thoughts on “From her cold dead fingers . . .

  1. Aunt Conney Mae says:

    Hilarious. I love finding stuff like this when I am traveling. For example, a card I bought in Vietnam described the tree bark from which the card was made as “pushing only in this region”. Mild compared to your great example. Meanwhile, I miss you Amy! I want to snap my fingers and have us back sitting on the beach at Aptos! xoxo

    • I miss you too! Thanks for always commenting on my posts; it reassures me that someone is reading them!

      I second the sitting on the beach in Aptos idea! Although right now I am sitting in the sun in Georgia so things aren’t too bad. I should be back for Mt. Hermon, though I might miss the first day or two. Decided I couldn’t stand the idea of not being there.

      Love you!

  2. Esther says:

    I recently found your blog while trying to find information about Batumi. I teach English in small town in Turkey and go to Georgia on my one day a week off. For three years I have been going there to ice skate as there is not a skating rink in Turkey where I live. Every time I go to Georgia I always wonder how life is there for the average person. Now, thanks to your blog I can finally figure out what life is like for the typical person. I think you must live far away from where I live. I live like an hour from the Sarp Georgian/Turkish border. I teach 95% in Turkish though as they would understand NOTHING if I spoke only English to them. They all seem to think it’s a little unfair that the whole world isn’t learning Turkish instead of them learning English.:) Just like your students are all about the alphabet, mine are all about solving test questions on hand out tests whether or not they understand the words on the page of not. They always look at me funny when I tell them picking a,b,c or d does no good if you don’t understand the words on the page.
    We American teachers have such strange ideas, don’t we 🙂

  3. Jennifer Van Gundy says:

    This was fall-over-in-my-chair funny — the type of humor that you and I cherish the most! SOOOO funny!

    We should enact the robe tug of war when you come home 🙂

    I miss you so much and I’m glad you are finding things that tickle your funny bone so precisely. I mean, really, this is EXACTLY the type of thing you find funny.

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